Romance is in the air … big time right now! After all, the first of May — known as May Day or Beltane — is an ancient Celtic festival celebrating fertility and love. To add to the excitement, Venus, Saturn and Pluto — all in the sensual Earth signs — are now forming a harmonious “grand trine.” Sensible Saturn and passionate Pluto are currently enhancing and empowering amorous Venus, offering cosmic support for manifesting relationships, love and all manner of sensual pleasures. –Tarot.com newsletter
When I started work this morning, I was oblivious to the impact of the “grand trine” on my life. Most of the people I spoke to were acting normal–as normal as they ever act. Nobody made a pass at me in the local coffee shop or next to the red lead lettuce at Kroger.
While checking e-mail, I was about to delete the Tarot.com newsletter, when I noticed that today is a day of “all manner of sensual pleasures.” So that’s why the coffee tasted better than usual, why the sun seemed hot to trot, and the birds and bees were, well, busier than usual.
I called up several trusted local officials and asked them if anyone had been arrested “on the street” for being Under the Influence of the Grand Trine (UIGT). “Frankly,” they said, “we don’t go in for all that grand trine nonsense but we’re sure there’s a law against it.”
“But what about Saturn and Pluto?” I asked. “According to informed sources, they’re having their way with Venus.”
“That’s outside of our jurisdiction,” I was told. I was also told not to call back.
I asked my wife if she wanted to go on a grand trine date and she reminded me that as of 2:41 pm (EDT) I hadn’t started mowing the lawn yet. So much for Saturn and Pluto in our neighborhood.
For the purposes of research, I contacted the local chapter of the Everleigh Ladies of the Evening Association (ELEA) and asked if they were offering a “grand trine special.” When they said it would cost $1,000 (via PayPal) to find out, I hung up and was so disgusted that I tore the ELEA refrigerator magnet off the door of our Kenmore Coldspot and rammed it down the garbage disposal.
Subsequently, my wife informed me that when I got done mowing the lawn, I could go out and buy a new garbage disposal and install it before we had remnants of the red leaf lettuce to grind up.
Had I not flunked out of Astrology 101, all of this grant trine stuff might make sense. Sad to say, May 1 is zooming by past my window at flank speed and I’ve been wasting it looking for romance in all the wrong places.
If you, dear reader, have had one or more grand trine experiences, please don’t tell me about them.
Copyright (c) 2008 with some hesitation by Malcolm R. Campbell. I invite you to take a look at my new book trailer for “The Sun Singer” and see if it isn’t more fun than speculating about Saturn and Pluto