What are spammers like in real life?

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Suppose you’re at a backyard barbecue. Everyone’s having a good time enjoying the food, the beer, and the afternoon.

Your good friend, Bob, comes over to tell you about his trip to Yellowstone. Turns out, he had a great time except for the fact that while he and his wife were there, they started wondering if they’d left the coffee pot on.

As the two of you talk about Yellowstone, a guy neither of you really knows stands there with a Pabst listening. As soon as Bob mentions the nagging coffee pot worry, this guy blurts out: I OWN A COFFEE POT STORE.

While that’s a little awkward, you turn to him and say, “great,” to which he responds that modern coffee pots automatically shut off after two hours and maybe y’all could come down and look at them after the barbecue.

Even with today’s lower standards about what’s rude and what’s not rude, I’m guessing that most people at the barbecue are not there to be badgered to death by sales talk.

But that’s what SPAM is when we see such behavior on line. Sometimes I wonder if spammers are as rude in real life as they are in the blogging world. But then I think, well, spammers aren’t real people. Maybe they are bots that go out and find a key word in a post and then dump complete gibberish into a comment field as though that’s going to help sales.

Sometimes I’m amused by what I find in the SPAM filter. If I mention Glacier Park on this blog, there’s probably going to be a comment caught in the SPAM filter that links back to a site selling tours, gear, or something randomly connected with glaciers and parks.

Though it’s all so blatantly obvious, it must generate sales or it wouldn’t be happening. Logically, it would seem that more sales would result from comments that actually have something to do with the post like, “Jim and I have gone to Glacier for 20 years in a row, and we’ve never see a bear do what that grizzly did on the Hi-Line Trail.” And then you see its posted by JIM&JOES TOURS.

Heck, I’d probably go and take a look at what they offered. Maybe they want my business just as much as the guy at the barbecue who owns a coffee pot store. But with me, they’re more likely to see me on their site or in their store because they know what’s polite and what’s not.

I’m thinking of addressing all of this in my prospective SPAMMING FOR IDIOTS book. It will be so lighthearted, you can even read it around the camp fire at Glacier or Yellowstone.

See how casual that was. I didn’t hit you over the head with it!

Malcolm

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6 responses

  1. I think the only sales that are boosted by spammers are for the companies that produce spam filters. Now if someone would come up with software that would examine the spam that’s caught in your spam filter and filter out the messages that shouldn’t have gotten in there…

    • It’s like the folks on the west coast getting rich selling gold prospecting equipment to all of the people headed for the Klondike.

      Actually, yes, I do find things in the SPAM filter that not only aren’t SPAM, they don’t even look like SPAM.