What makes your eyes glaze over?

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We all have stuff that bores us so much that our eyes give the impression we’re dead. Hopefully, this doesn’t happen when your  spouse says “I love you” or your boss is telling you what you have to do to get a better performance review.

Generally, most people try to pretend their eyes aren’t glazing over when they are. Even though manners don’t seem to matter as much as they used to, we generally know how to fake being interested in something even if we’re not. I’m sure appearing bored is probably politically incorrect along with everything else that might bother people.

Nonetheless, sometimes some things are so boring that we can’t help appearing dead. Do you have your own top ten list? I’m sure you do even if you’re not sure what it is because–if you’re like some people–making a list of what bores you is so boring that your eyes glaze over before you have more than a couple of things written down. For what it’s worth, here’s my list:

  1. Writing discussion questions for book clubs. (I feel that if the club isn’t smart enough to discuss the book without suggestions for discussing it, they’re probably not smart enough to read the book.)
  2. Forensics shows on TV about old cases. (Yes, I marvel at what labs can do–especially if it’s Abby on NCIS–but watching people shake clues up in test tubes isn’t my thing.)
  3. Open caskets. (I really don’t want to see the person in the casket so I let my eyes go out of focus.)
  4. Golf. (I don’t understand the need for it. Simple as that.)
  5. Health Discussions. (Why do people get together and compare all the ailments they’ve had during the past week? It’s like a bloody contest. Yawn.)
  6. Sermons. (I guess I was raised wrong, but I don’t like listening to somebody telling me what to do for an hour or so while people from the neighboring churches have already finished their services and are hogging the best seats at the nearby cafeterias.)
  7. Badly written sex scenes in novels. (Make it stop.)
  8. Parades. (I never saw the attraction of watching a bunch of people walk or drive down the middle of a street.)
  9. Overly obvious advice. (What the hell am I supposed to say when somebody says, “you know, Malcolm, God moves in mysterious ways.” Am I supposed to nod in agreement or say something wise like “when you’re right, you’re right.”
  10. People with a new baby who invite you over to watch their new baby. (Past a point, when I’ve seen one baby, I’ve seen them all. So what happens to people who used to engage in good conversation with guests once they have a baby and think we want to stare at it for two or three hours?)

What about you? Can you keep your eyes from glazing over long enough to jot down the top two or three things that make them glaze over?

–Malcolm

 

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8 responses

  1. People who give blow by blow accountings of movies they’ve seen. Tell me in two or three sentences; let me decide if I want to ask for more info or if I want to see it myself.

  2. I agree with Smoky, but that goes for books, too. My mom (sorry, mom!) gives every single detail when she’s telling me about a book. The entire plot, from beginning to end. By the time she’s finished, there’s no reason for me to read it.

  3. I’m a healer and an attentive friend and listener, but that doesn’t mean I want a blow by blow, ad nauseam, ad infinitum account of what you’ve been doing and what everyone’s done to you since I’ve last seen you. As was said previously: Just give me a quick synopsis and I’ll decide if I need/want to hear more.

  4. A good list, Malcolm. I can relate to a couple of those as well. Recently, a flurry of conversations where people go on and on sharing myriad details of every sniffle, cough, ache, stomach gurgle, and so on … including details that make me think of Uma Thurman’s line in Pulp Fiction: “That’s a little bit more information than I need, Vince.” Jeez.